Although we have many versions of the Bible in our home, we have never had a real family bible. My husband received a bible when he converted from Lutheranism to Catholicism and I have a paper copy of The Good News Bible filled with signatures of friends and acquaintances from a COR (Christ in Others) retreat I made as a teenager in the seventies.

I have a shiny red, thin-paged, paperback bible I purchased at a church in Maryhill a suburb of Glasgow, Scotland in 1989. I was with my friend, Angela who was on a visit from Canada to see her family. We had been to Mass, presided over by Father Mone and the bibles were being sold at the back of the church, so I bought one as a remembrance of the day. We also have various New Testaments and small, convenient paperback Bibles, but never have we owned an honest-to-goodness, big, Family Bible. Until now.

Yesterday, we were checking out our neighbourhood Goodwill store-looking for the usual household items, good-quality clothing and unique finds, when we noticed a Holy Bible in one of the display cases by the check out at the back. It looked to be in good condition; it was white with bronze engraved lettering. The pages were gilt-edged and on the side it read “NAB”.

We could tell the bible was fairly old and we were not sure what the initials “NAB” stood for. We thought it might be a Catholic bible, but weren’t certain, so we asked one of the girls who works at Goodwill if she might open the case and take it out so we could have a look.

Holding the bible in my hands felt right. It was padded, but not too heavy and when we opened it, we discovered it was the Catholic Life Edition (although on closer examination, the spine had that information too). It turned out that “NAB” stood for New American Bible and that this edition was printed back in 1970.

We asked the girl how much they were asking for the Bible (mind you, my heart was already set on it, so it wouldn’t have mattered if she’d said $40.) She said it was $9.99! Now that was a real find. I knew that the price of a brand new bible comparable to this one is actually around $75.

A couple of summers ago, my God-daughter was getting married, in the Catholic church, to a Catholic boy. I had this idea that it might be nice to buy a beautiful, white bible for the two of them to treasure for the rest of their lives. We did quite a bit of shopping for that bible and finally settled on a gorgeously presented white bible designated specifically as a wedding gift. It had lovely photographs and artwork inside and the pages were edged in shiny silver. It was pristine in its paper wrapping and packaged in a nice, crisp white box as well. We bought it along with a figurine of a married couple in each other’s arms for their first dance together and we thought that was a nice gift to give or receive.

I spent a good deal of time writing an inscription in the front of the bible and was full of anticipation that my words and the Good Book itself would be gratefully and delightedly received. I should have known from the way the wedding day unfolded, that I would be disappointed in this expectation.

It was a late August day and the church was on a busy road in a busy part of town. We parked the car behind the church and made our way to the side door. Lined up beside the entrance was a massive, gleaming white stretch-Hummer, bedecked with blossoms and “bling”.

Inside the church was nicely decorated and people were filling up the pews fairly quickly. The attendees were a mix of grandparents, grandaunts and uncles and immediate families and friends. The couple were in their mid twenties and all the friends and cousins around the same age. The young men seemed to combine a fashionable fusion of gangsta and Fred Astaire. Decked out in tailored tuxes, they sported shaved heads and Ray Bans. This did not bode well.

The wedding mass itself was very nice. The hymns were pleasant and the readings were as expected. I was still hopeful of our gift being appreciated and its value understood. Of course, this was before the reception.

The after-wedding party was held at a large hall on a suburban road off one of the major highways. Inside, we were held hostage in the front hall for over an hour as we waited for the inner room to be prepared and while the wedding party had their photos taken on the grand staircase within.

At last, we were allowed in the room, made our way to the table where our names were printed on cards and got settled. There were tables with towers of appetizers awaiting us and we made our way to them without any ado.

A further period of waiting began. With it came an onslaught of raucous, banging, hip-hop style music and a female emcee who must have been a carnival barker in another life. I was reminded of the microphoned males who used to entice young kids on to the rides and in a booming voice give a play by play of the ride as it ran.

Now, my husband and I are not all that old (in our mid-forties) so, we are pretty tolerant of most music and environments, but this was a room filled with a mix of youth and seniors who were forced to endure the atmosphere. The noise was deafening. You couldn’t hear yourself think, let alone communicate with anyone at the dining table.

Things went from bad to worse as a series of events were inflicted on the wedding guests, involving table games, dance numbers and speeches. The Best Man’s speech consisted of nothing more than repeated, beer-soaked bawling out “I love you, Man. I love you guys!” It was horrendous.

I spent a good deal of time in the bathroom hiding out from participation in the “fun” and once the actual meal was done (about 2 hours later) we made our apologies and a speedy exit.

It should have come as no surprise that we did not receive even a card of thanks for our wedding gifts. I am hopeful that one day the bible will be opened – perhaps upon the birth of a child, but I fear it may end up in a thrift store waiting to be rescued as we have just done. I guess worse things could happen.

For now, we’re just happy to have our own family bible at last, and have made a vow to screen all invitations to weddings in the future.